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JOYSUCKERS

Overcoming the "Joysuckers™ " in Your Job Search

The following article appears in the 4/16/00 Seattle Times' NW Career Expo Special Insert.

"So you're thinking of changing your job. You haven't even been at your present job for a year. You're 35, 45 or so years-old. Other people your age have it all together, and you still don't know what you want to be when you grow up. " You have just been hit with a "JOYSUCKER™" What is a joysucker? It is an obstacle to your dreams, the enemy of your soul, and the defeater of fulfillment.

Three Kinds of Joysuckers

When you attack yourself with this inner voice of judgement, you become depressed (anger turned inward). It can stop you cold and steal your peace, hope, and ultimately your joy. This is the first kind of joysucker: YOURSELF.

Then you meet someone who says, "You look awful. What's wrong with you? Haven't you found a job you like yet?" You have just met up with the second kind of joysucker, the voice of judgement of OTHERS.

Then you think, "I should like my new job." Enter the third type of joysucker: SOCIAL CONFORMITY. "You must follow the rules." A conforming joysucker voice is only a pretender of power. Creativity demands independence; organizations demand conformity.

The joysuckers are the single most destructive barrier to creativity. These thoughts or statements are "wolves in sheep's clothing." They can be subtle, yet lethal. They thrive on fear, are cruel, reactionary, and manipulative. They are devious liars. Joysuckers are really fear, and fear creates judgement. People who have abandoned their dreams will often discourage yours.

GOOD NEWS!! You have the freedom to make your own career choices. You can recapture your sense of adventure and lost innocence. Can you remember your dreams as a child? Did you freely express your aspirations through play as a child? Or did you have parents that stifled you from expressing your true nature? Were you "should" on or did you "should" on yourself? Have you neglected that still small voice inside you, begging "Let me out! Let me out!" This is the voice of FULFILLMENT which produces joy. It simply does not go away until you respectfully honor these God-given talents of "who you truly are." The joysuckers want to diminish your possibilities and win by stealing your dreams.

Choose life (adventure, joy) not death (willingness to settle, or be in a rut). Often the "walking dead" are your co-workers, who blame others for their unhappiness. They are often intimidated by your new-found freedom. Remember, if you are birthing a new idea or career path, expect "labor pains" and don't let the joysuckers get you down!

Three Ways to Battle the Joysuckers

1. EXAMINE YOUR INNER THOUGHTS. IDENTIFY PRECISELY WHAT THE JOYSUCKER IS SAYING.
"That's a really stupid idea" or "It'll never work" or "I might fail!" "It's too late." Or "I can't make a living doing what I love." Or "Do you want your family to starve?" Learn to recognize when the joysucker raises its ugly head: your compulsion to compare yourself to others, the need to be perfect, desire for approval, fear of criticism, the need to be well-liked, desire to conform, desire for status, fear of making a mistake, fear of being laughed at, and many more.

It's wise to keep a list of your joysuckers. Take a piece of paper and put the name of the joysucker person on the left side of the page, and what is being said on the right. Did you put your name on the top of the list? You may be your own worst joysucker. The statements you've identified are lies! You are not your thoughts, and you don't have to own the thoughts of others. Remember, the enemy is unseen. Go beyond the clamoring voices of these joysuckers.

2. THE BATTLE IS A-WAGING!
Stand firm, and fight the enemy! Shout, "That's a joysucker!" Attack it. Put it on the list and remember, these are lies. Oh, it might come back and subtly say, "Yes, but jobs are hard to come by." It pretends to be real. But rely on your objective, impartial, intelligence and intuition to make clear, rational assessments of your ideas. Deny the voice of the joysucker. Ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" It may be the best thing. You won't die. You just might get that job you want!

3. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO EXPLORE NEW CREATIVE OPTIONS.
Let the joysuckers push you forward! Risk trying something new. Pick a start date, plant your seed, nurture and feed it daily (by exploring it and distancing yourself from the joysuckers). Protect your seed with slug bait (your weapon) to guard it. The exciting part is to watch and see what your seed becomes: a rose, a zucchini, a giant sequoia tree. This is all part of the creative adventure. And the joysuckers DON'T WIN! Even a small decrease in the joysuckers can double your creativity or job prospects. Now, go follow your creative self. Enhance the wonder and curiosity that begs to come out. You can "whistle while you work". There is victory with coloring outside the lines, even though it feels risky. You can do what you love, and the money will follow. You can break the social rules and not follow convention.

You won't find your dreams in others; you find them in your heart. An overcoming attitude is persistence to follow your heart. Persevere. Guard against the joysuckers. Your freedom enables you to take on an exciting adventure for a new career, or avocation, or a new lease on life. Take personal responsibility and risk expressing your potential. Maybe we can't all be Beethovens, but we can all make music. Now, go find what makes your heart sing!!!